Dear little blog, I have things to tell you today. Because I don't have anyone else to talk to and I feel like sharing might help.
Things are not very good around here. My partner and I both love each other very much (this I believe completely), but we both have so much sadness and are entirely failing at communicating. Last night he told me he has secret sadnesses he cannot talk to me about, and I am so scared of losing him. I just wish I could help, and that we could both be happy again.
I have various problems which have kept me from socialising normally and meeting people, thus I have no-one in real life I would be able to talk to. I am entirely overwhelmed by everything and don't know what I should be doing.
The suckiest thing from my (admittedly warped and dis-functional) point of view is that I have recently been actively trying to make the situation better. I really was trying. I have re-gained a lot of physical health this past year and was feeling a lot more confident as a result. It takes me so long to make any progress though I worry I have waited too long to start being a proper girlfriend.
I am slowly finishing up some dolly knits and waiting for Dan to come home. Really hoping things can finally get better and so scared that they won't. Want him to know how much I care, even if I don't show it properly.